Everyone tells you to prepare to be exhausted in the first weeks and months of parenthood, but until you’re in the thick of it, it’s tough to fully grasp how truly exhausted you’ll be. One thing that factors into this exhaustion is that Baby seems to think nighttime is the time to party! This is called day/night confusion, and it can last until Baby is 8 weeks old — and yes, I know that 8 weeks feels like an ETERNITY during the newborn stage. Luckily, there are a few things you can do to help speed up the process of clarifying those days and nights!
Why are Baby’s days/nights mixed up?
In the outside (of the womb) world, our circadian rhythms are primarily regulated by light, and secondarily regulated by routines.
Since Baby was living inside Mama just a few days or weeks ago, she was largely deprived of light, so the only thing regulating her sleep was Mama’s routines. Mama’s routines likely included a lot more walking and movement during the day, which helped rock Baby to sleep. Then, when Mama was more still at night, Baby had the chance to wake up and move around! No wonder Baby is all mixed up!
How can I switch Baby’s days and nights?
Although Baby is now outside of the womb, she’s still used to sleeping during the day and playing at night, and that’s not a habit that will change overnight! It’ll take some time and effort to switch things around.
1. Prioritize light throughout Baby’s day
Light is still the most influential factor in regulating body rhythms, so use that to your advantage!
First, expose Baby to as much natural light as possible during Baby’s awake time. Spend time by the window or outside; even artificial light can help.
Second, do Baby’s naps with some natural light, too! I recommend a pitch black room for naps for babies older than 8 weeks, but for the young ones I recommend leaving the curtains partially open for naps. Don’t have bright light shining directly on Baby, but make sure the brightness level clearly says “daytime.”
Third, when you are up with Baby in the night, keep everything business-like. This isn’t the time to play peekaboo or look adoringly into Baby’s eyes; it’s time for a feed and sleep. Even if Baby wants to party, keep your energy level low, and Baby will be more likely to match. Keep lights off (if you need some light to see what you’re doing, I recommend red light bulbs, as those are the least stimulating), avoid screens, and don’t talk or play (though singing may be appropriate).
2. Follow age-appropriate waketimes
If anyone ever tells you to keep Baby up longer during the day so they’ll sleep better at night, RUN! We adults tend to overwork and overtire ourselves to the point that we easily pass out as soon as our head hits the pillow. This is not how it works for babies and children. When babies become overtired, they quickly become wired and stressed out, which leads them to fight sleep, HARD.
Our goal is to catch them when they start to show sleepy signs (like yawning or pulling ears), and lay them down right away. These signs can be easy to miss though, because they come so quickly! Start looking out for them after only 45-60 minutes awake at this age (0-8 weeks). (And keep in mind that the feed does count in that awake time!)
3. Limit daytime sleep
Since Baby’s days and nights are mixed up, she’s likely to take longer stretches of sleep during the day — even in the neighborhood of 6 hours! When you’re missing out on night sleep, it can be tempting to just let the naps go as longgggg as possible, especially since we usually need a nap, or a shower, or to tackle the mountain of dishes that has been accumulating — or all of the above! But if you want to help Baby switch days and nights, you’ll need to limit the naps.
I recommend limiting daytime naps to 3 hours at this age. However, it can be tricky to wake a deeply sleeping baby! Here are a few tips:
Take all of Baby’s clothes off — this cools her off and moves her body around, which can both be helpful.
Use a wet washcloth on Baby’s skin. Not super fun for Baby, but it’s in the name of regulating her sleep!
After about the 2-hour mark, unswaddle Baby and/or turn off the white noise. If she’s deeply asleep, she’ll keep sleeping; then once she moves into a lighter stage of sleep, she’s more likely to wake naturally since her sleep associations are no longer in place.
New babies are exhausting enough without you spending your nights awake, so follow these recommendations to help your Baby adjust to a normal day/night schedule and get on track for more sleep for everyone!
Looking for more help with your Newborn? Check out my Newborn Dream Key, which covers everything you need to know about establishing a great sleep foundation for your little one!