“Baby” is the generalized name I provide for any age child I refer to (age 0-5 years), so look for other context to decipher if age matters for the specific info given. In this post, the term refers to a child 3+ years old.
We’ve had another major transition over at our house — Ada has switched from one nap to quiet time! In all honesty, I was nervous to make this transition. I’ve thought about it ever since she switched to one nap — “How will I ever handle it when she doesn’t nap AT ALL anymore?!” But it actually went pretty smoothly! I still get that break I was nervous to lose, PLUS other benefits!
Let’s dive into all things QUIET TIME. I asked you what questions you had, and here are my answers!
How do you know it’s time to switch to quiet time?
Kids are ready to drop their nap sometime between 3 and 5 years old. Before age 3, we really want to hold onto the nap because it’s still so important for Baby’s development. After age 3, you have more flexibility to choose whether you’d like to hold onto the nap or drop it. Aligning Baby’s schedule with the rest of the family’s schedules is typically the deciding factor, as dropping the nap (or not) affects Baby’s bedtime (earlier vs. later) and Baby’s ability to go on afternoon outings (older siblings want to go out vs. younger siblings need naps). Personally, I typically recommend holding onto naps as long as possible.
Some kids will show you they definitely still need to keep their nap. If Baby is still napping most days or conking out at 5pm on days she doesn’t nap, hold onto the nap! While it’s common for toddlers and preschoolers to refuse to nap, you can encourage Baby to keep her nap by making sure naptime is happening at the same time every day (and it should be right after lunch — no playtime between lunch and nap!); you’re using Crib 90; and try putting pjs on, since Baby’s concept of time is still a little wonky — she doesn’t quite know the difference between naps and nights!
You’ll know it’s time to make the switch when Baby is not falling asleep at naptime more often than she is falling asleep, despite using Crib 90 daily. Not only is she staying awake most naptimes, but she’s not falling asleep in the car or on the couch before bedtime.
By the time we transitioned Ada (at 3y8m), she was napping maybe twice per week for a month or so. She was getting more and more resistant to going down at naptime because naptime meant being confined to her dark room, awake, for 90 minutes — aka BORING. Ever since switching to quiet time, she willingly and happily goes to her room at the appointed time. Win!
How do I introduce quiet time?
Sometime during the morning, explain to Baby that she’s growing up. Part of growing up means she doesn’t need a nap anymore, and instead she gets to do quiet time! Her body still needs rest in the day, so she’ll now get that rest in the form of quiet time. Explain the parameters of quiet time — approximately how long it will last, that Mama won’t be coming into the room during quiet time, show what Baby can do during quiet time, and address how you’ll handle any particular behaviors you anticipate (kicking and screaming at the door, for instance). Consider giving Baby a “potty pass,” — a ticket that can be used to call mom back ONE time, so encourage Baby to only use it if she really needs something, like a potty break.
Where should quiet time take place?
If possible, quiet time should take place in Baby’s room. This ensures that Baby gets solid quiet time, and SO DOES MAMA! I even encourage using a child-proof knob cover or locking the door from the outside to help keep Baby in her room for the duration of quiet time.
However, if Baby shares a room with a napping sibling, Baby’s room isn’t going to be the best place for quiet time because quiet time should definitely overlap with naptime for mama’s sanity. If you have an office, a spare bedroom, or a playroom, any of these places can work for quiet time. If you have no other location options for quiet time that keep Baby contained, you have to move to plan B.
Plan B: Train Baby to self-entertain, even when you’re in the room. Explain to Baby how quiet time works (what she can do, how long it will last), and that during quiet time, Mama is not available to help Baby unless absolutely necessary (and so Mama will not respond to Baby’s requests). Let Baby know that quiet time is for Mama, too. Consider role-playing how you want quiet time to work — kids love to act things out! Expect that at first, quiet time might seem like a mess! But if you continue to enforce it, it will come together!
How long should quiet time be?
Quiet time can be as long or as short as you want. I recommend a minimum of 20 minutes and a maximum of 2 hours. If necessary, you can start shorter and build up to something longer. Especially if your child is having quiet time out in the open, some type of visual marker can be helpful.
Ada typically does 1-2 hours, based on what other activities we need to plan around. She knows that Mama decides when quiet time is over (we don’t use a visual marker). We started out with a long quiet time right off the bat because she did well with it. She was used to spending 90 minutes in the dark (Crib 90), and then 30 more minutes in her room with the light on (try this before making the switch!), so switching to having the light on the whole time was a definite upgrade. Most of the time, there’s no fight about a long quiet time because she’s learned to self-entertain very well in the recent months (mostly due to so many Crib 90s with no sleep!).
What should Baby do during quiet time?
The key to a good quiet time is low-stimulation activities. Low-stimulation means no tv, iPad, or loud light-up toys. Don’t get me wrong, all of those things have their place! But quiet time is intended to be a break from stimulation, so the activities need to reflect that.
Great options for quiet time are books and open-ended toys. Open-ended toys are toys that can be used in many different ways, so kids want to play with them for longer! Some examples of open-ended toys are legos, baby dolls, blocks, and Magna Tiles.
Along with not having stimulating toys, I also recommend not having art toys unless you really trust your child. I don’t know about you, but I never want to come to get Ada out of quiet time to find a 3-year-old mural on the wall! Painting and coloring are great activities — great supervised activities in my house.
Ada’s room has lots of books, as well as a few Barbies and lots of accompanying clothing and accessories. I also allow her to bring other toys into her room during quiet time if she wants. She can play Barbies and look at books for hours! And I love to watch her do it on her video monitor :) She got her Barbies just a few months before we started quiet time, and she was always asking me for help dressing them. Now that she can’t get help dressing them during quiet time, she’s gotten so much better at it! I love the way that giving her space and independence (in the form of quiet time) has improved her skills and confidence.
How does switching to quiet time affect Baby’s schedule?
When Baby is taking a nap some days and not taking a nap other days, the bedtime should be flexible. When we officially switch to quiet time, the bedtime is permanently moved earlier! Bedtime is based on Baby’s sleep needs and when she woke up that morning. No matter the length of quiet time, we base bedtime off the morning wake-up time.
One reason we made the switch was that I was sick of never knowing whether the day would be a late bedtime day or an early bedtime day. Now that Ada does quiet time every day, bedtime is about the same time every day (we’re currently doing 6:30pm).
Is quiet time at the same time every day?
Yes and no. Quiet time should be roughly the same time every day simply because kids do better with consistency. There’s no way you’re going to get a consistent 2-hour quiet time if you’re trying to do quiet time at different parts of the day all the time! However, you can build quiet time into your daily routine rather than needing to do it at a set time on the clock.
I recommend doing quiet time right after lunch because it aligns with naps and it’s a good mid-day break. Not to mention it’s replacing their nap which used to fall right after lunch, so it’s a more natural transition.
We typically have lunch at noon and quiet time around 12:45/1pm. However, I like to make quiet time overlap with naptime as much as possible, so on days when Holly goes down for a nap at 12:15, I aim for an earlier lunch and an earlier quiet time for Ada; on days when Holly goes down for a nap at 1:30, I am for a later lunch and a later quiet time for Ada. Once Holly moves to more solid naptimes, Ada will have a more solid quiet time start time.
Should I have a quiet time routine?
While naptime and bedtime routines are very important, you may not need a full routine for quiet time. We simply take Ada to the bathroom, give her a hug, and tell her to enjoy quiet time.
What if Baby falls asleep during quiet time?
Especially in the beginning, you can actually encourage a nap. Let Baby know that if she’s tired, she can turn off the light and climb into bed. She may or may not take advantage of this, but we want her to know it’s an option.
If she does fall asleep, simply use a later bedtime that night. However, be careful to not let Baby fall asleep too late! If quiet time is from 1-2:30 and Baby falls asleep at 2:25, that’s going to wreak havoc on bedtime. Try to keep an eye on Baby and if she seems like she’s going to fall asleep too late, talk to her on the monitor or consider ending quiet time early (or you can even go in the room and do your own thing for the remainder of quiet time).
Can I do quiet time in addition to naptime?
Sure! Having a reliable quiet time is mostly about establishing clear boundaries for the quiet time and then practicing. If Baby still has a nap in her day, I would probably try only a 20- to 30-minute quiet time.
To sum up, I’ve loved the quiet time switch because I still get a nice break, Ada has a reliable bedtime (and it’s early, which I like), I can skip quiet time for a special activity, I don’t have to fight Ada on naps, and I can easily align Holly’s naps with quiet time!
What about you — do you love quiet time? If you have other questions about quiet time, drop them in the comments! :)