My husband and I recently returned from a wonderful trip to Paris to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary! We were thrilled to be able to go, but when you’re traveling so far and spending so much money to get there, you want to make it worth it — so our trip was a full 7 days, plus an added day to account for travel time.
8 days is a long time to leave young kiddos behind, but we knew our girls would be in good hands with their grandparents. But HOW do you leave your kiddos with someone else for so long, especially when your kids are used to a very dependable schedule (sleep schedule and otherwise)?? 😅
When it comes to leaving kids with another caretaker, my general rule of thumb is simple: Give very detailed notes about my kids' regular schedules, and tell the caretaker they're free to do whatever they want while I'm gone.
Give Alllllllll the Info
As someone who loves routines and predictability, I want to give all the necessary info to the caretaker so they, too, can have routines and predictability if they choose. I cover my kids' sleep schedules, eating habits, ideas for outings and play, parameters for tv time, and any other tidbit that I think the caretaker could benefit from knowing.
The way I see it, kids come as teeny tiny babies so that we can learn about them little by little as they continue to grow. If I were put in charge of someone else’s child and didn’t know nearly as much about them as their mom and dad do, I’d be frankly terrified, so I provide the info as a sort of reference book that the caretakers can consult as needed.
Then Let it Go
On the other hand, there are definitely people out there who are much more go-with-the-flow and spontaneous than I am; people who use their eyes and intuition more than I do. For that reason, I also give the caretaker freedom to mess up the schedule as they please. Late bedtimes, skipped naps, and ice cream for dinner? All are okay with me, as long as you're taking care of my kids and loving them!
At the very top of my document with all the info, I have a paragraph in a bigger font that says, “You can do whatever you want with our girls while you have them! We trust you to love and care for them however you see fit. These pages are just to provide you with guidance into our normal routines if you want that :)”
If there’s anything I really, truly care about the caretaker maintaining it I mention it out loud and in the document I give them. I recommend keeping these requests to maybe one or two things. For me, it’s that I don’t want my kids (who are 2 and 5 years old) watching anything rated PG-13. And that’s it! That’s really, truly the only thing that is non-negotiable for me.
Kids are resilient, and one week of sleep (or any usual habit) that is thrown off won't damage them forever. Remember that a day or a week that is out-of-the-ordinary and which completely throws usual habits out the window, will not completely mess up the good sleep you've worked hard to achieve for your children. Simply prioritize your good habits when you get back (and do some touch-up sleep training if necessary), and aim to recoup any lost sleep with early bedtimes and extended naps.
Next time you take a trip without the kids, keep this in mind! Give allllll the info, and then let it go! Enjoy your trip and the uninterrupted time you get to spend with your partner. You deserve it!