Since you’re a parent, you’ve likely heard the advice to “never wake a sleeping baby.”
I’m pretty positive that the people who give this advice out are the same people who are spending way too much time getting their kids to fall asleep. After all, if you have to work very hard to get Baby to fall asleep, why on earth would you ever consider waking Baby before he wakes on his own?!
But since I teach you how to teach your child to fall asleep easily and independently, I’m also here to teach you why we wake a sleeping baby. Because there are a few important cases where we definitely wake sleeping babies around here!
1 - Wake newborns to sort out day and night
Newborns typically have their days and nights mixed up, thanks to being rocked to sleep all day by Mom’s normal movement, and staying up all night due to Mom’s stillness. After they’re born, they’re still not sure when day and night are for up to 8 weeks (adjusted age)! However, you can help Baby learn the difference between day and night by waking Baby after 3 hours of sleep all day long, and then giving him awake time (~60 minutes total).
If we let Baby sleep extra long stretches during the day, he’ll be ready to party all night long. By limiting Baby’s daytime naps, we’re more likely to get day and night sorted more quickly, and we’re also more likely to get those long stretches of sleep during the night!
2 - Wake newborns to preserve the feeding schedule
Another important reason to wake newborns is to make sure they get sufficient nutrition throughout the day. We want to make sure they’re eating at least every 3-4 hours throughout the day, again so they’ll hopefully give us the longer stretches at night.
Waking Baby after 3 hours of sleep (like from point 1) will preserve the feeding schedule until at least 8 weeks, but you may have to start waking your newborn sooner than 3 hours as his awake time between naps increases, in order to preserve the feeding schedule.
3 - Wake kids of all ages to limit daytime sleep
Encouraging kids to sleep better and longer at night isn’t just a newborn thing — it’s applicable to all ages! And in order to encourage better nighttime sleep for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, we need to make sure they’re not getting too much daytime sleep!
Starting at 4 months, I recommend waking Baby anytime his nap reaches the 2-hour point. When Baby transitions to one nap, the nap can be up to 3 hours for a few months, but eventually that single nap needs to be scaled back as well.
Additionally, nap sleep should not take away from night sleep, since night sleep is more restorative and beneficial. We want nights to be 11-12 hours, so if nights are shorter than 11 hours, it might be time to cut back on naps to lengthen the nights.
Keeping that in mind, nap totals from the day should not exceed the following:
4 months - 5 hours
5 months - 4.5 hours
6 months - 4 hours
7-12 months - 3.5 hours
13-20 months - 3 hours
21-30 months - 2.5 hours
31-36 months - 2 hours
3-5 years - 1.5 hours
Keep in mind that those are the upper limits of how much a child could be napping, so some kids may nap less than the above amounts. Click to read more about your child’s daily sleep needs.
4 - Wake kids 6+ months to preserve the overall schedule
Starting around 6 months, you can begin using scheduled times on the clock for your little one’s naps. As your child gets older and requires less sleep and more time awake between naps, you may find that you need to limit naps before the 2-hour point in order to maintain the schedule.
For instance, right now I have to wake up my 7-month-old, Holly, from her first nap by 10:45am in order for her to be tired enough to take an appropriate nap at her next scheduled nap of 1pm. Sometimes she gets two full hours by then, but other times, she’s only gotten an hour and forty-five minutes or so, but she has to wake up by 10:45am if I want to keep her naps stable and predictable.
5 - Wake kids of all ages to hold onto as many naps as possible for as long as possible
If you've ever heard me talk about nap transitions (when babies drop from 3 naps to 2, or 2 naps to 1, etc.), you know I'm a big fan of waiting as long as possible to make the drops. Anytime we drop a nap, we’re asking Baby to handle a lot more awake time between naps, so I like to wait as long as possible to make the transition easier on Baby.
The slightly tricky part about holding onto more naps for longer is that you may have to wake Baby from one or more naps in order to fit all the necessary awake time into the day (otherwise, we run into problems with Baby being awake in the night to make up for missed daytime awake time!).
example
I already gave the example about Holly needing to wake by 10:45am from nap 1 in order to be awake long enough between naps 1 & 2, but I actually wake her from all three naps almost every day.
She is 7 months old, and the transition from three to two naps happens anytime between 6 and 9 months. I could transition her from three naps to two, but if I did, I’d be asking her to jump from 2/2.5 hours of awake time between each nap to 2.5/3.5 hours of awake time between each nap. While it doesn’t sound like a huge increase, it’s still an increase that I’ll wait as long as possible to make!
Currently, she has no issues falling asleep for any of her naps, all of her naps are longer than the minimums I would suggest (60+ minutes for naps 1 & 2, 30-45 minutes for nap 3), and she sleeps at least 11 hours at night.
Because everything is still working, I hold onto three naps by waking her from naps by 10:45am, 2:25pm, and 5:00pm. When she starts consistently having trouble falling asleep for one or more naps, taking naps that are too short, or sleeping fewer than 11 hours at night, I’ll move toward transitioning. But for now, I hold onto more naps by waking her up from those naps.
While there are many times when you WON’T need to wake your sleeping baby, these are a few of the times you WILL. So what do you think? Have I convinced you of the importance of sometimes waking a sleeping baby? Share your thoughts below!
And if you need help figuring out how to teach Baby to fall asleep independently or what Baby’s ideal schedule should be, set up a free discovery call or grab a free nap schedule guide!