Once your kiddo is ready to drop naps (between 3 & 5 years old), quiet time is the perfect thing to replace that nap with. Your child still needs a break from stimulation, and YOU still need a break from your child! (And there’s zero need to feel guilt about that — kids overstimulate US, so we need breaks, too! 🤣)
If you’re wondering how to start quiet time and have it be successful, start with this blog post. However, today’s post is about quiet time for BIG kids (5+ years)! I’ll cover why it’s still important, what our quiet time looks like now that Ada is 5.5 years old, and how long we plan to continue the practice.
Why Quiet Time?
Living in a World of Overstimulation
Like I mentioned above, quiet time is hugely important for kids AND parents, to give us all a break from stimulation.
We live in a world that is CONSTANTLY running. Music, tv, people, noise, screens, toys, video games, commercials, school, extracurricular activities — one or more of these are usually readily available at any given moment. None of those things are inherently bad, and in fact, many of them are wonderful! However, without some boundaries around them, these outside sources can quickly overrun our minds with stimulation.
Most people probably think of quiet time as being only for preschoolers — it feels like something that helps us get through the day when we really wish our child still napped (and they may even still NEED a nap, though they refuse to take one). Once they’re in school, we get our break from the child, so quiet time is no longer quite as necessary for US. Our kids, on the other hand, are still being stimulated the entire time they’re away from us! That is why quiet time is still necessary; kids still need a REAL break!
The Benefits of Taking a Break
It seems that every (nonfiction) book I read or podcast I listen to talks about the importance of slowing down and/or meditating. In a world that moves at breakneck speed, we’ve forgotten HOW to slow down, so we constantly feel overwhelmed and overrun. And while it's easy to think this phenomenon is only affecting adults or perhaps teens, it also affects our younger children.
In the books and podcasts geared toward adults, experts claim that slowing down and meditation are linked to increased health, creativity, and productivity, plus decreased stress, anxiety, and depression. Quiet time can serve as a form of slowing down or even meditation to provide children with related benefits.
Quiet time helps kids decompress from the stimulation they experience everywhere else, and gives them a chance to process emotions without any outside pressure. Quiet time provides the opportunity for kids to experience boredom — something kids these days rarely get to feel! And though boredom is slightly unpleasant, it makes way for kids to see what ideas their amazing brains are capable of dreaming up. Using their own imagination, without influence from friends or family, gives kids a stronger sense of self and increased confidence. Kids tend to look toward adults to entertain them these days, but when you enforce a consistent quiet time, you help your child see that they are capable of entertaining themselves, too.
How Quiet Time Looks in Our House
Ada is now 5.5 years old. Some things about quiet time are very similar to how we started nearly two years ago, while other things have changed. There has been a natural evolution as Ada has gotten older, and I’m sure things will continue to change as she continues to age.
How it Started Vs. How it’s Going
How Long: Quiet time was originally 2 hours. Now it varies from 1.5-2 hours. Once she starts going to elementary school, I’ll probably decrease to 1 hour.
Where: At first, quiet time took place in only Ada’s bedroom. Now, Ada is free to roam between her bedroom, the playroom, the living room, and even outside on our driveway or in our backyard. The main thing is that she is supposed to keep to herself and allow me to do the same. If she’s interrupting me too much or insisting that quiet time should be over, I generally lock myself in my bedroom.
Activities: When we began, I did not allow art tools in Ada’s room. Now I can trust her to color, cut, and glue appropriately without supervision, so she is allowed those items in her room. Books and toys are still key items for quiet time, but we’ve also added audio books and outdoor toys (like chalk and bikes) to the mix now that she’s older.
When Should Quiet Time End?
As far as I’m concerned, quiet time will be a thing in our house forever! As I mentioned earlier, we’re all constantly stimulated by outside inputs, so we could all benefit from a little more downtime. As I mentioned above, I’ll likely decrease the amount of quiet time Ada has as she gets older and enters school (probably down to one hour), but I think carving out one hour per day for decompression, quiet, and play, will continue to be beneficial for her (as I think it’s beneficial for all children!). Eventually, she’ll seek out that solitary time without it being a requirement, but I have no plans to stop it before then!
By the time Holly ages out of naps, Ada will be in school, so Holly’s quiet time will be alone, as well. I recommend at least half an hour of solitary quiet time for younger kiddos (3-5 years), but if your kiddos are close in age and both no longer napping, you could have them do some of their quiet time together. Some sibling fights are bound to occur, but you might be amazed at how your kids actually work things out better when no adults appear to referee.
If you have school-aged children and have already stopped quiet time, you can still bring it back! The keys to making it work are to start small and stay consistent. Start with even just 10 minutes, but do it every day. At first, remind your child of ideas for what to do — toys, books, art, and even audio books can be great quiet time activities (though I recommend no iPads or TVs, as those are forms of high stimulation). Then wait and see where they go from there! Help your child understand that quiet time is FOR their health and wellbeing! — it’s not a punishment.
While quiet time is especially important for non-napping preschoolers and their caretakers, it still serves a critical purpose for kids as they enter school and get older. The world is not getting any LESS stimulating, so it’s our job as parents to provide our children (and their ever-impressionable minds) with a little break from all that stimulation. The world has increased in stimulation, but kids still need the chance to be kids, rather than being rushed through their childhood.
Do you use quiet time for your little kids? How about for your big kids? I’d love to hear how you handle it! 😁