One of my favorite people to follow on Instagram is Ralphie Jacobs of @SimplyOnPurpose. She’s a positive parenting expert, and everything she shares is so uplifting and inspiring!
One tool for teaching children that she frequently talks about is roleplay — acting out a scenario ahead of time to demonstrate what positive or negative consequences follow certain actions. Roleplay is helpful for teaching many things, and you can even use it for SLEEP scenarios!
Why You Should Use Roleplay
First off, WHY is roleplay so helpful in teaching children how to behave? Basically, it feels like play (I mean, it is called rolePLAY), and kids learn so much through play. In fact, according to research by Dr. Karyn Purvis, “scientists have discovered that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain, unless it is done in play, in which case it only takes 10 to 20 repetitions.” So when you use roleplay with your child, they’re likely to start modeling the type of behavior you’re hoping for much more quickly than if you repeatedly explain to them what is expected. 10 to 20 repetitions seems pretty small when compared with 400!
And I’m not sure how it works in your house, but I’m willing to bet that your toddler/preschooler just LOVES it when you join in and play with them. Ada can play by herself and she can play with her friends, but she seems to crave playing with me (which is unfortunate, since I despise “playing” now that I’m an adult). Roleplay is one way that I can “play” with her that I actually like, because I know it’s working to teach her something about how I want her to behave!
Scenarios for which Roleplay Might be Helpful
I’m sure there are many sleep scenarios for which roleplay would be helpful, but here are three ideas to get you started.
Something out-of-the-ordinary
If you have something out-of-the-ordinary coming up that will disrupt their sleep in some way, prep them for it with roleplay.
If you’re skipping a nap for a fun activity, bedtime may need to come earlier than your child is used to. Roleplay the end of the evening, cutting out whatever activities you won’t be able to do that night because of the early bedtime, so your child can see how things will be different that night.
If you’re staying out late for a fun activity, you may need to cut out most of the bedtime routine, so sometime before you leave for the fun activity, roleplay getting out of the car, doing the bare minimum bedtime routine, and getting in bed.
If your child is staying the night at Grandma’s house, do a quick roleplay of the bedtime routine coupled with staying in bed in the new environment.
Roomsharing
No matter what your roomsharing situation is, roleplay can help your kids behave how you’d like them to.
If you’re just starting to have multiple kids roomshare, roleplay what you’d like bedtime to look like. If one child will be going to bed before another, roleplay what that will look like for both the child who has to go down earlier and the one who has to go down later. Help them both become familiar with the new setup.
If roomsharing has been an ongoing struggle, roleplay what you’d like it to look like — you could pretend to be one of the kids, and roleplay speaking kindly to the other child, saying goodnight, closing your eyes, and pretending to sleep.
If the kids are just roomsharing for a vacation, you can roleplay that ahead of time so it won’t be such a shock for them to share a room.
Struggles at Bedtime
Bedtime battles at the end of the day are enough to put any mom over the edge. See if you can’t lessen the battles with some roleplay.
If it’s a struggle to get your child to follow the bedtime routine, roleplay what the routine should look like.
If it’s a struggle to get your child to stay in bed, roleplay the consequences of staying in bed vs. getting out of bed.
If it’s a struggle to avoid your child’s incessant requests for everything right before bed, roleplay ignoring these types of requests.
Transitions
Whatever you roleplay, make sure to do it during the day — not during the bedtime routine. It should feel more like play than a lesson, even though it is both.
Additionally, consider roleplaying multiple times and switching roles so that sometimes your child is the parent and you are the child.
If you’ve been having any sort of sleep struggle with your older child, see if roleplaying the desired behaviors helps make a change in your home!
And if you need more help than roleplaying alone can provide, don’t hesitate to book a free call to learn how we can work together to get the whole house sleeping better!